Something fun this way comes

Something fun this way comes

Spring has officially sprung! The days are getting longer, the birds are singing, the bees are buzzing and Hawkin’s Bazaar has a truck load of new stuff to make these glorious days even better. This is just a sneak peak at some of our newest items of joy, head on over to our main site if you’d like to peruse our ever expanding toy box and find something you never knew you needed.

Zombie Gnome

gnome 2

Most gnomes are chirpy little bearded fellas who sit around ponds all day, casually fishing or smoking a pipe and not doing much of anything. In other words, kinda boring. We’re shaking up the world of garden ornaments with our brand new Zombie Gnome. He may only be a few inches tall but that won’t stop this guy trying to crawl up your back and get at those tasty, tasty brains*. Place him around your pond to scare the hell out of any herons that try and gobble up your fish, or just hide him among your plants as a spooky and hilarious talking point at BBQs. Better yet, hide him around the house and wait until someone finds him looming out of a cupboard!

*Gnome doesn’t actually come to life and try to eat your brains… we think.

Das Horn


Regular drinking receptacles lacking the Viking edge you crave? We feel your pain, which is why we’ve got Das Horn. It’s scientifically proven to make any drink you put in it 17 times more awesome and invokes ancient Viking feelings of coolness that you never knew you had. It holds over a pint of whatever you decide to put in it (best avoid the hot drinks though) and even comes with a neck strap, leaving your hands free to dance/pillage/party without having to put your horn into its stand (also provided). Take it to festivals, parties or just use it at home and demand that everyone call you Biolfr Thorhallason. That’s what we’re going to do with it anyway.

Immerse Virtual Reality Headset


Okay, this one is something that’s got us really excited. You’ve no doubt heard all about the recent developments in the world of virtual reality, and we’ve managed to get our hands on one. We know, we know, thank us later. This Immerse VR Headset is specially designed to work with your smartphone to transport you to a whole new world. All you have to do is download one of the thousands of 3D apps out there and slip your phone into the front piece of the headset. Snap it closed and then slip the headset on to find yourself flying through space, riding a roller-coaster down a mountain or escaping dinosaurs through suburban streets. Move your head to look around and check out your new surroundings, just like in real life. This has been strapped to various employee’s faces ever since it arrived in the office, so you can believe us when we say that it’s AWESOME.

Ass Blaster Hot Sauce

Ass blaster

We’ve gone all culinary with our new range and have introduced some taste bud tingling hot sauces! This one is our personal fave, though they’re all darn tootin tasty. Much like a fine scotch whiskey, the Ass Blaster Hot Sauce comes in its own wooden presentation box (okay, it’s an outhouse), making it look especially impressive when sat next to your stove. Made from habanero peppers, this isn’t a hot sauce for the weak tongued out there, trust us. It’s a delectable and delicious hot sauce that will make a fine addition to your arsenal of condiments.

Dog Selfies

Dog selfies

Last but not least, we’ve got something for all the pooches out there. Everyone loves taking pictures of their hounds, so we’ve got this kit that will really up their selfie game. It comes with loads of props to hold in front of your dog, from sunglasses to crowns, and is sure to result in some hilarious shots! What’s funnier, a plain old photo of a Labrador, or a photo of a Labrador wearing shades and a tie? Exactly.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>